What I am feeling now.

The thought of being a bad son, bad is always there. Today I feel it again. Am I a burden to others? Personally I think I am. People may not know. I am the only normal academic student in my family. You may not think is anything wrong. But both my sisters are really very smart. They really are. Never fail, they do well go in to express save 1 year of school fee. after went to JC save another year of school fee, I went to Poly and their school fee is more expansive than JC. I am very proud of them. I always very proud to tell my friends that I have two smart and awesome sisters. without fail. As they really are. Some times, I thinking if their friends ask them about their brother, that is me. What will they reply? Cause I think I have nothing good. Really!!! Even I go poly need other people help. My parent always ask me to study hard for my future. But the reason I study so hard cause I want them to have a happy life. I dont really care how people look at me. even if I have to spend lesser time to play jut to study.
Sometimes I want to distress I also must think should I. Maybe some of it cause I need to spend money. and I don't really come for a rich family. So whatever I able to save up I will try my very best to save up.

I just want to be a good son and brother to my family members. sadly to say. I am really just a burden if you all know me. Sometimes I wish if they dont have me they will be abit happier?

I did it again.

Nothing feel this bad when you make your love one sad. What can i say. I make my girl sad again. She keep saying that I am good enough for her but I know myself I am not good enough. So funny, by typing this down, my tears just start to flow. Let's continue. I always want my girl to be the happiest girl in the world, I believe all the guys want their girl to be as well. Sadly I can't. I am a very perfect guy that is imperfect. Can't provide my girl what she want. Suddenly find out that for a guy to find a girlfriend you need to have all this.

No 1.

1. Cash
2. Car
3. Time
4. Patient
5. Willingness
6. Good looking
7. Do what she want you to do

A perfect boyfriend must be like this rainbow. Colourful. As i mention, I am a imperfect guy cause I did not hit a single criterial.

Sometimes, I wish

1) I got CASH so that I can buy you what you like.

2) I got Car so that I can find you all the time and you don't need to fight with your parent with this topic.

3) I got TIME for you whenever you need me.

4) I got PATIENT to listen to you so that we don't always fight.

5) I more WILLING to go for the extra mile for you.

6) I wish... I am happy with my LOOKS.

7) Be the MAN that she wants.


She always say all these doesn't matter to her. But I feel if I have all the above isit will be better for both of us?

But I still thank God for who I am today. For now, I just need God to be at the center of my heart. Love really hurt. What a 2014.

Now this song is best to describe me.